Finding a 'partner' who accepts Kig.

      Finding a 'partner' who accepts Kig.

      So I've been thinking for a while: if I do kig, will my future partner (e.g, bf or gf) accept it? This will be easier to accept if someone was doing same gender to gender kig - all you really need them to do is let you dress up. But cross-gender kig is really different. In this case, I want to talk about male to female kig because well... I'm male and I want to aim towards female kig. The point is if I have female items like bras, panties, hose, skirts and breast forms, and she sees them, she'll think I'm weird or disrespectful or even *cheating*. The only safe way of getting a partner in kig is at a con, where cosplay and other kiggers will be.

      One last question before this gets too deep,
      Do any of you guys have your longlife couple and accept you in kig? If so, state, maybe, how they help you as a kigger.
      I just posted! ^^
      It's certainly somewhat of a problem when you consider kigging to be one of the more obscure parts of cosplay and is generally a "love or Hate" kind of thing. It could potentially freak them out and she could possibly end the relationship right there or tell you to stop.

      In my opinion, If I actually had the guts to look for a girlfriend I would look for someone using this criteria:

      (From most ideal to least ideal)
      Fellow Kig
      ^
      Knows about and likes/is neutral about kigging
      ^
      Likes or is not against cross dressing and/or cosplay
      ^
      Strong/passionate Anime Fan
      ^
      Everyone else

      then again, we can never tell what the world has in store for us or what circumstances we may have. But generally with any couple, shared interests is a good thing to have.

      I'm sorry that I can't speak from experience.
      First stop looking at the whole male to female kig as a negative, Alot of people in the Anime/Cosplay/costuming community are ok and supportive of anything LGBTQ related. (I have litterly heard one of my straight male friends complain that he was liked at a con but when they found out he was straight they went "ewwww he's straight...gross!"

      Second it's how you view it, I have friends who have used cosplay as just that, costume construction and modeling, some are obsessed and HAVE to do it as part of their daily lives and then still others who have used it as a gateway to finding out who they truly were. (cosplay to crossplay to drag to crossdressing to transgender) so sit down and determine how important it is in your life.

      Finally, never and i mean never stop being who you are and doing what you like for someone else, just always be your self and this person will come around.....wait no I didn't meet my partner that way.... OK first find someone that is 70% into the things your into, that way most of the things you do will be together but this person also has things to bring to the relationship. NEXT make sure that within that 70% is kig because it is a part of your life, and i mean all aspects of it (women's cloths, breastforms, bras, panties, everything, don't hide it, don't compromise it, better to be rejected before anything happens then hide it until your really committed to each other.

      Lastly remember, no one is perfect and the person of your dreams could always be staring you in the face.....or ya know.....you both could have gotten out of bad relationships, each had a friend who set unrealistic goals in the next person you dated and you just happened to find the person who not only filled those goals but did so before you ever met them and you met at an event that neither of you had any interest in at all in the first place.
      i'd definitely look for someone who, ideally, is a kig as well or at least open to the idea. As people have already said, kigging is the weird side of cosplay in a way, and therefore it's most likely a love it or hate it type of deal. Disclaimer In my case though i have never ever had a crush on anyone let alone a girlfriend, but i imagine that it'd be a hard thing to accept for most people if they aren't already engaged in it in some way.
      "hi" -Albert Einstein
      Well, assuming that i manage to find girlfriend, revealing her what i like sure would be the greatest challenge i could have to face.

      Well the "good" thing is that i personnaly can't pretend to be a kig performer yet (unfortunatly) so i don't have much to loose if she really wants me to abandon it.
      But if you are a performer or like me, looking to become one, i think the best to do is to be sure that she's already or likely to be accepting things close to it like cosplay, maybe even crossplay or at least being extremly open-minded before revealing it to her.
      After all, let's not forget that here, we're talking about something that is considered as "creepy" or even "perverted" by many people even amongst the "otaku" culture.
      Indeed It is not an easy thing since it's already difficult enough to meet people IRL that also like manga or anime, so one that would be your girlfriend...<sigh>
      But otherwise, i truly believe that it would be a dangerous minefield where i'm definitely not brave enough to step on and where you can destroy a relationship.

      So big decisions that truly depend only on your own judgement about you, what you want and your priorities, as well as about your potential partner.
      This subject really doesn't directly affect me since I don't have the mental capacity of having a "misses" in my lifet, but I thought I would make a single post here just to allow others to know my general stance on it:

      Finding romance is like looking in a search engine: being too restrictive with your criteria is likely to yield innacurate let alone any (decent) results; some people are just being unrealistically picky and there never has been such a thing as the "perfect person".

      I find it extremely rare for any person to have the courtesy and sincerity of trying to think the matter "on the flip side": would they like to be stigmatised for their interests or disabilities? So far nobody I know in-person has ever been able to make a credible counter-claim to this argument because they know they wouldn't appreciate such negativity on their personal image.

      To round off, a little rhyme I thought up:

      Animegao is my art
      cosplay is my craft
      presentation is my play
      friend or foe
      reverence and respect
      For me, I am not ashamed at all about kig. In fact, I am about to put up a post for lessons doing a number of hours in kig yesterday. Yes, some people mention apprehension on the concept of a male person putting on a female mask, but I then point to the origin of kig, and Japanese theater in general, where for a while, men played all roles.

      I'm open, possibly too open about what I do. However, there is no shame doing kig, just like there is no shame of someone doing a mascot job.

      As for relationships, I plan to propose in kig, if all goes well.

      scath01 wrote:

      For me, I am not ashamed at all about kig. In fact, I am about to put up a post for lessons doing a number of hours in kig yesterday. Yes, some people mention apprehension on the concept of a male person putting on a female mask, but I then point to the origin of kig, and Japanese theater in general, where for a while, men played all roles.


      I'd like to add people also tend to forget that a long time ago in western theatre as well men used to play all the parts too.
      "Newbie Shinobu MIdori"
      It seems strange to me that you would seek a partner that identifies with your Jungian shadow, which is what you express through cosplay and other means so your intellectual consciousness can be made aware and appreciative of it. Your Shadow is your creative side and your cosplay expression is letting it out. The big worry is that your shadow, your dark self, will be associated with evil which it is not. It merely is hidden. From my perspective a partner that identifies with your shadow too much can turn your relationship into a competitive power struggle - the worst being I see your you, and can match that and do better. And being proved incompetent at being yourself can utterly destroy your relationship and send you into a tailspin. Anyway, that's my casual experience with random arts and musical couples FWIW......'>.......

      Note: characterisations of the Id or Shadow, is almost entirely negative. Even Jung did this extensively and I disagree somewhat. It is childlike, primitive and somewhat magical, hearkening back to an earlier state of being, but is entirely acceptable in a well-balanced personality if made conscious. So cosplay and kigu is good, just that mom, dad or room mate may not think so.....XD.......

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology)
      Try knowing a few heteronorms. They'll broaden your horizons without a lot of drama. It's great, try it....'>......

      Post was edited 1 time, last by “lzzrdgrrl” ().

      Well said as always lzzz.
      Since I actually live on the other side of this conversation, what I can tell you all from experience is don't seek out what is (in your mind) the perfect match for your fantasy mate.
      That's a train wreck waiting to happen. Rather than seeking, just live your life and hell most here in this conversation haven't even put on a kig yet for the first time.

      Get through that first and then have your perfect mate find you. Cause believe me, you won't find one as hard as you look. The will find you........... .
      lets be honest if you're in a healthy relationship with someone else they shouldn't be that fussed about your hobbies and vice versa.

      I think people give kig to much credit as being totally weird/alien, it's not that different from regular cosplay or owning a fursuit, in my opinion you're more likely to make people get weirded out by something if you treat it as something that's weird in the first place.

      It's not something you have to "reveal" you aren't opening up to someone about your dark deviant desires to get it on while dressed as a clown or something (and even if you are that also shouldn't be a problem but that's a whole other discussion.)

      my point is this is on par with saying "I enjoy collecting/building gundams" or "I paint in my spare time" (of course assuming you aren't talking to hyper conservative people)

      don't stress about it